Heated Sprinkles

"Good afternoon everybody! How are you today?"

2008-08-16T01:59:00.002-05:00

How did I miss this? On Thursday night, WFAN (the nation's first all-sports talk radio station) announced the Mike and the Mad Dog show is breaking up. Apparently Chris "Mad Dog" Russo is bolting for Sirius radio, leaving Mike Francesa as the lone voice on the station.

Apparentlly there was a big fight between the two of them earlier this year, but both insist they were on much better terms and this split is not at all related.

Russo called in on Friday's show, and Francesa and Russo cried on the radio.

I remember going to a Yankee game with my dad and my godfather back in the very early 90s. Francesa and Russo must have just started up, and they were doing their show from outside the Stadium.

Wonder what Bill Simmons thinks about this? He's claimed to basically idolize their show, although ESPN wouldn't allow him to go on a non-ESPN show.

Radio Alert: It’s Now Mike Minus Mad Dog

Russo, late of WFAN's Mike and the Mad Dog, calls in

What does James Bond think of this?

2008-08-10T18:32:00.001-05:00

In the glorious year of 1996, Penn State football went 11-2, despite having Wally Richardson as the quarterback. Wally was a terrible quarterback who would frequently throw the ball 10 feet over the receiver's head. Thank God for Curtis Enis and a solid defense, apparently.

Even more amazing is that he made it to the NFL. He was drafted by the Baltimore Ravens in the seventh round, and played two years with the Ravens and one with the Atlanta Falcons. He threw two passes in an NFL game, completing one for a whopping one yard.

Meanwhile...

Tomorrow, the 20th edition of Madden NFL football will be released. In recognition, IGN.com has written various stories about Madden history, one of them being "The Ten Worst Quarterbacks in Madden History." Topping the list is No. 14 himself.

1. Wally Richardson (Madden '00, Baltimore, 41 overall, and Madden '02, Free Agent, 38 overall)

We chose Wally Richardson for this job because he managed to stay in Madden for four years, getting worse each time, despite any evidence that he was a NFL quarterback with any hope of getting into a game. Richardson was most well-known for his time as a starter at Penn State, but in 1997, the Ravens drafted him in the seventh round. He didn't play in his rookie year, but in his second season, he got in and threw two passes. One was complete. It gained a yard.

Richardson never threw a pass in the NFL again. Despite this, he remained in Madden through the 2002 version (2001 NFL season), getting progressively worse, going down to a rank 38 overall rating. That bizarre mix of dire performance and staying power makes Richardson the worst quarterback in Madden history.

As for the James Bond comment, this is because when an article slamming Wally appeared in the HighAcres Collegian in the fall of '96, a angry student who identified him or himself as "James Bond" emailed the author and threatened bodily harm, if I remember correctly.

William Yurasko, the author of said article still owes his Wally jersey, which leads to the question, which jersey purchase was stupider: The Wally jersey owed by Will, or the Austin Scott jerseys purchased by Sam Basile and I. Bash Wally for his ineptitude on the football field, but at least he was never accused of raping anyone.

...

Yet.

Spot the Ridiculous Part I

2008-08-05T16:25:00.001-05:00

This was released by the NFL today. Can anyone spot the ridiculous part (aside from the fact the Eagles will apparently be playing their home games in an empty stadium)?

The NFL announced today that it will implement a new fan code of conduct, and that fans who break the rules can be ejected from stadiums and barred from returning.

Fortunately, there’s nothing in the new rules that bans standing.

The league says it is attempting to crack down on behavior that “detracts from the gameday experience,” including:

– Behavior that is unruly, disruptive, or illegal.

– Drunkenness and signs of alcohol impairment that result in irresponsible behavior.

– Foul or abusive language or obscene gestures.

– Interference with the progress of the game, including throwing objects onto the field.

– Failing to follow instructions of stadium personnel.

– Verbal or physical harassment of fans from the opposing team.

There will no doubt be some fans who object to these rules, and some of them will be hard to enforce, overall, these guidelines seem reasonable. Assuming that stadium personnel use good judgment in enforcing the rules, this new code of conduct should make life more pleasant for the 10 million or so people who fill NFL stadiums each Sunday.

162-0!

2008-04-02T16:11:00.003-05:00

The Yankees won their last ever home opener last night, beating Toronto 3-2. Chien-Ming Wang allowed two runs n seven innings, Joba the Chamberlain tossed a scoreless eighth, and Mariano Rivera recorded a perfect ninth for the save. Melky Cabrera homered and made a big catch against the wall.

So for at least a few hours, the dream of 162-0 remains alive. A certain former Yankees fan (whose grandfather is likely rolling over in his grave) and I used to do this every season, so here you go. It's also worth mentioning to any Boston fans that for the moment, New York is perfect and you are not (aaaaachoooo17-14ooooooo)!

Holy cow! It's a post!

2008-03-22T20:17:00.003-05:00

Alright, well it's been over five months since my last post. A lot has happened since then.

Baby Aidan isn't so little.
The school year is almost over.
The Giants won the Super Bowl!
I'm taking grad classes again.
Xander's going to preschool.
Some of my friends are reproducing.
Baseball season is starting up, so that means more umpiring.

More to come...

Going Home

2007-10-04T14:06:00.000-05:00

Time to say bye-bye to the hospital and head home with Aidan.

My Son!

2007-10-03T20:01:00.000-05:00

Aidan Anthony Stratton was born at 8:37am, and weighs 8 lbs, 15 ozs. Mother and baby are doing fine.

News of the Weird, Vol. 1

2007-08-19T11:41:00.000-05:00

I've always enjoyed reading about "strange but true" news stories, so I thought I'd start posting them here. Enjoy...

Man Trades Rocket Launcher for Sneakers
Apparently a guy around Orlando found a surface-to-air rocket launcher in an old shed he tore down, and unable to dispose of it at an area dump, trades them for size-3 Reebok for his daughter. Weirdness Factor: 3 (out of 5)

Hear Ye, Hear Ye, MP3
A Muslim woman in Britain was caught listening to her MP3 player underneath her hijab while she was actively serving jury duty for a murder trial.
Weirdness Factor: 2

"Can You Hook Me Up?"
So narcotics police have searched a man's apartment and have him in handcuffs when another guy walks up and asked the man, then the badged detective, for some meth.
Weirdness Factor: 2

Coping With a Fraud: A 10-Step System on Dealing With 755

2007-08-05T19:38:00.000-05:00

I found this on the blog "Sons of Sam Malone." Pretty funny.

10. Two words. Fetal. Position. It's simple really....Lay on the ground, bring hips to chest, insert thumb in mouth, shake uncontrollably, cry out things like, "I'm sorry Hank!", "Damn you Barry!", and "But needles hurt! Why!?!", and finally, let those waterworks go...

9. After you're through throwing your hissy fit, it's time for arts and crafts...All you'll need is some felt (or any cloth-like material really), a couple of googly eyes, a red marker for the bacne, a needle and thread, a large ball for an over-sized head, and something small and round for the shrunken scrotum...Put it all together and, Voila! Baroid Voodoo doll...You might not want to stab it with needles. I doubt that would really be anything out of the norm for him...

8. Get yourself a reliable pen and a piece of paper, sit down, let your emotions flow, and write the most eloquent death threat you can think up...

7. Hire the best attorney money can buy...You're going to need it when they trace said death threat back to you...Why did you handwrite the damn thing? Fool!

6. After your lawyer (see step 7) gets you off scott free (I hope you splurged on a lawyer like I suggested), go out into your front yard and yell obscenities as loud as your little vocal chords can muster...I mean scream...Let 'em fly...I'm talking Samuel L. Jackson level of profanity...I want you to be proficient in the art of cursing when you're through with this step...A virtuoso so to speak...

5. Now it's time to seriously try and convince yourself that Hank was on the juice as well...Keep repeating this over and over in your head until it sticks, "Barry's not so bad. Hank cheated too."

4. Find a sturdy, solid wall...Back up from it about 15 feet or so...Run full-speed, and ram your head through...You deserve it for ever even considering that Hank might be a cheater...You're pathetic...

3. Run to CVS, Rite Aid, Walgreens, etc., buy a Bic razor, and make sure it's sharp...You don't want to have to do this repeatedly due to a dull razor...

2. Stop. Think about your wife/girlfriend/mother/gay lover/whatever, and think about how mad they're gonna be if you ruin their carpet...and...

1. Realize that A-Rod is going to pass Baroid in a matter of time, and you need to be alive to kill yourself when that happens... (well, not me, unless A-Rod's wearing a different uniform)

In other news...

Pete Rose swears at little kids
Apparently the Army held a "Reds Legend Baseball Camp" for 7- to 14-year olds, someone thought it was a good idea to invite Pete Rose to teach the kids about baseball and life (no confirmation that Rose was also there to teach the kids how to lie for 15 years, or how to win at blackjack).

Anyway, Rose reportedly tossed out the F-bomb and S-bomb repeatedly, and told the kids "Winning is everything, and if you get second place, you're just a loser."

Great job, Pete.

McDonald's sued for using English
Apparently a lawyer in China is upset that the receipts at McDonald's in China are mostly in English. This really isn't that odd, except for the story's title. I'm be upset if receipts in the U.S. were in Chinese. Of course, Chinese isn't the world's universal language; English is.

Are the New York Yankees for sale?
More than once, I've stated that George Steinbrenner being banished by Fay Vincent was the catalyst for the Yankees' success in the late 1990s and early 2000s. The franchise was able to stop trading away young talent for older, more established players, allowing men like Derek Jeter, Bernie Williams, Andy Pettitte and Mariano Rivera to florish while in a Yankee uniform.

But Steinbrenner is a rare breed of player. Despite the Yankees being worth more than $1 billion (a nice investment from the $8.7 million Steinbrenner paid CBS for the team back in 1973!) and their annual payroll hovering around or above $200 million, Steinbrenner himself is only worth about $225 million. There are plenty of richer men owning baseball teams, but none of them put as much back into their team.

Now Steinbrenner's health is failing; he might be suffering from dementia. Originally his son-in-law, Steve Swindal, was to be George's successor. But when Steinbrenner's daughter filed divorce papers to split from Swindal, the future owner's position in the franchise went up in flames. Steinbrenner's two sons have little interest in running the team, so it's rumored that after George passes, his sons will start preparations to sell the team (the YES network is already being sold).

Worse yet, it's rumored than a media conglomerate like Comcast or Verizon might be interested. Now, will the head of Comcast really be as obsessed about winning as Steinbrenner is? Not a chance. The interest of owning the Yankees would be the money it can generate. Who cares if the Yankees are winning, as long as they're getting you lots of money. CBS owned the Yankees from 1964 to 1973. Total World Series titles in than span: 0. Total World Series appearances in that span: 0. Total division titles: 0. That went well.

Warning! People may be stupidier than they appear!

2007-07-22T18:19:00.000-05:00

This is a baby stroller at Arundel Mills with a shopping bag attached. The sad thing is, somebody had to try this for someone to add a warning.

Finally! Part 2

2007-07-21T01:53:00.001-05:00

At long last, my night is over.

Finally!

2007-07-21T00:28:00.000-05:00

Now I have to wait for the audio book.

The First Person

2007-07-20T23:04:00.001-05:00

You stink!

Harry Potter dies!

2007-07-20T22:40:00.001-05:00

Just kidding. I have no clue. Just 20 minutes to go, although these people will get the book much earlier than I will. I've been told my turn will probably be sometime after 1am.

No I did not dress up

2007-07-20T21:55:00.001-05:00

People all over the store are dressed up for the release. There are a lot of Hermionies, some Snapes, some SPEW badges and a few POTTER STINKS badges. And of course, at least one Flitwick.

Live from Borders

2007-07-20T21:13:00.000-05:00

At Borders to get the last Harry Potter book. This is the line to pick up your wristband. It has gotten a lot longer since I was in it. Updates continue at Heated Sprinkles.

Our New Car

2007-06-29T15:33:00.001-05:00

As you can see, we have a new car. A 2007 GMC Envoy SLT. Ain't it pretty?

We named the dog Indiana!

2007-06-23T13:26:00.000-05:00

On Thursday, production began for a movie that many people expected we would never see . . . Indiana Jones 4. I've been eagerly awaiting this movie for a while now. After all, has there really ever been a bad Indiana Jones movie (Temple of Doom, while being the weak link of the series, was still better than 65 percent of the movies out there.

Everyone complains about Harrison Ford's age, but in the world of CGI, stunt men and other special effects, I doubt it will really matter.

This is a picture that Steven Spielberg took at the start of production.

Girl Power!

2007-06-10T09:04:00.000-05:00

So Rags to Riches won the Belmont Stakes, the first filly to win the 1 1/2 mile endurance race since 1905. She edged out Preakness winner Curlin by a head to win the race.

So now I wonder how long it will take people to propose a match race between Rags to Riches and Kentucky Derby winner Street Sense. The Derby winner is supposedly retiring, but I doubt that would stop any speculation.

Matches used to be a pretty popular event in horse racing, with such classics as Seabiscuit and War Admiral (The Match of the Century). The event fell out of favor after the fateful match race on July 6, 1975 at Belmont Park.

The race featured the filly Ruffian, who won her first 10 races and was dubbed "Queen of the Fillies," and Foolish Pleasure, the Kentucky Derby winner. The "Battle of thew Sexes" tennis match between Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs had taken place two years earlier, and this horse race would be dubbed "the equine battle of the Sexes."

Ruffian led by a nose after the first quarter-mile and soon extended her lead to about half a length. But then tragedy struck. Both of Ruffian's sesamoid bones in her right foreleg snapped. Her jockey, Jacinto Vasquez, tried to pull her up, but she ran on for another 50 yards, apparently unwilling to give up the race.

She was treated in surgery for 12 hours, but when the anesthesia wore off, she thrashed around, destroyed the cast and broke her other leg. She was euthanized soon after, and was buried in the infield at Belmont Park, where she got to watch another filly win the Belmont 32 years later.

...And Kirk Cameron as The Smoke

2007-06-10T09:02:00.000-05:00

First of all, let me start this with a spoiler warning. If you are at all interested in what happened in the season finale of Lost and have not yet seen it (This means you, Sam!), stop reading and definitely don't watch the video.

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Still here? Good.

So on the season finale of Lost, we got a glimpse into the future, with Jack and Kate (and I assume others) presumed rescued, but it not being the happy ending Jack envisioned. So the question was, "Where do they got from here?" Well, this video tries to answer that.

We have a winner!

2007-06-03T13:13:00.000-05:00

After much debate and dozens of names that were considered and rejected, Christine and I have decided on a name for our second child, previously known as "Noname" and due to enter this world on September 29, 2007:

Drumroll please...

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Aidan Anthony Stratton

True Yankee

2007-06-01T09:41:00.000-05:00

This season has been pretty void of clutch performances in New York. A-Rod has cooled off, Jeter was 0-for-4 for 3 strikeouts in a win (OMG!) on Wednesday, and Posada's hitting hasn't changed things in Yankee Stadium.

But the sports parody news site thebrushback.com has identified a true Yankee because of his clutch performance: LeBron James.

I've never heard of this sitye before, but it's pretty good. I liked the blurb entitled "Red Sox Open Up 13-Game Lead Over Only Other Team In Division" and the story entitled "Madden Curse Strikes Vince Young In Form Of Shitty Wide Receivers."

Okay, I stand corrected. The Brushback can't compete with this.

Fire Torre!

2007-05-29T21:17:00.001-05:00

I think we've gotten to this point. The players don't really respond to him anymore. I seriously question some of his decisions, decisions that used to be perfect but now are wrong again and again. Do I think he's at fault? No. But I think something drastic has to happen to shake these players and wake them up?

Star Wars Robot Chicken

2007-05-28T11:14:00.000-05:00

On June 17, Cartoon Network is running an episode of its Robot Chicken series, focusing on a galaxy far far away. They have released a trailer, as well as some preview bits. I put two of them down below, cause they are just too funny.

Because I can

2007-05-28T10:11:00.000-05:00